into the past.

I was looking at my thoughts from 2006 -in the midst of my experience in San Francisco and found these entries...

3/3/06
Saw you once.
Took an interest in your smile.

3/4/06
Spoke with you twice.
Took an interest in your words.
You felt familiar –even at a distance.
So I took a risk that night and became an open book.
All the while –hoping that you would want to turn the page.

I remember who this was and I remember his influence at the time. As I reflect -I'm reminded of his steadiness/softness/unassuming nature/the disguise he carried. Despite the apparent attraction and that which came thereafter -undoubtedly, up to this point in my life, I've shielded myself from a love so intense it's worth a piece of me and if anyone has walked in my shoes he would know why.

Into the past -something learned/bits and pieces picked up and thrown into my basket/my "survival kit". Along the way -I can only hope to be completely honest with myself and trusting of the "process"/secure within my own skin in the here/the now.

***
Ever unfolding/expanding/adventurous and torturous. But never done.
-Alanis Morissette