into the past.

I was looking at my thoughts from 2006 -in the midst of my experience in San Francisco and found these entries...

Saw you once.
Took an interest in your smile.

Spoke with you twice.
Took an interest in your words.
You felt familiar –even at a distance.
So I took a risk that night and became an open book.
All the while –hoping that you would want to turn the page.

I remember who this was and I remember his influence at the time. As I reflect -I'm reminded of his steadiness/softness/unassuming nature/the disguise he carried. Despite the apparent attraction and that which came thereafter -undoubtedly, up to this point in my life, I've shielded myself from a love so intense it's worth a piece of me and if anyone has walked in my shoes he would know why.

Into the past -something learned/bits and pieces picked up and thrown into my basket/my "survival kit". Along the way -I can only hope to be completely honest with myself and trusting of the "process"/secure within my own skin in the here/the now.

Ever unfolding/expanding/adventurous and torturous. But never done.
-Alanis Morissette