my time.

When is my "time"? I mostly ask this question when I find myself trying/under pressure/constantly fighting imaginary forces. Can I control my effort/the high expectations/this intense energy that often consumes me? If that were the case, then my "time" would come along on a frequent basis. Then again -would my life journey be as multi-faceted/adventurous/rewarding/extreme? When I talk about my "time" -I'm not speaking of happiness, which is fleeting/comes and goes; rather a calming hush/peace that runs through me/the confidence in knowing that I am where God wants me to be.


The past couple of years and definitely most recently -I have been praying for this "time" to roll in and honest to God, I do feel like there is a clearing up ahead. I'm counting on it! Aside from a sincere faith to help me through... I look at life as the tide/waves rolling, unpredictable –the only constant IS the change. The real question is: how do I find my footing/a buoy/eventually the lighthouse? It has to be in my core –deep down inside I have to still hear the inner voice. The one that knows right from wrong/yearns to understand unconditional love/strives to feel compassion/fights for my "time". That voice is my saving grace, but she is only strong if I listen. The more I allow negative energy/hate/torment/blame/anger/rage/disappointment to fill my soul -the less likely my voice will stay present. So that's where I'm at right now: reconnecting with who I am/ready for healing/forgiveness/acceptance for what is and preparing myself for my "time" to come.


*

God grant me the

SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change:

COURAGE to change the things I can; and the

WISDOM to know the difference.

Living 1 day at a time;

Enjoying 1 moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.